Gossip: The acceptable sin.

Many years ago a missionary to Africa was the guest speaker in one of my college classes. He was speaking on the subject of cultural differences and the way laws were enforced in tribal areas of Zimbabwe. One of the most interesting facts was how certain sins were punished. If for instance, there was a charge of infidelity and adultery, a peace offering given by the offending male to the family of the woman. If a thief was caught, his hand was cut off. If someone was guilty of gossip the penalty was either life time banishment from family and village or death by stoning.

Most of the class was incredulous. Why would the punishment for gossip be so harsh? It's just talk. It's not like property was taken or destroyed. Certainly, theft is worse than gossip. The missionary had asked the same question of the village chieftain. His response was this: Adultery ruins a marriage. Theft hurts one or two, but gossip destroys the whole village.

Gossip has long been used to bring down people and cities. It was part of the plan that Sanballat tried to use to stop the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem by Nehemiah. Reading in Nehemiah chapter 6 will give you the full details of the plan, but for now suffice it to say that part of the leverage Sanballat tried to put in place against Nehemiah was the spreading of an untrue open letter among the people. In those days it was the custom for all important letters to be sealed so that only those that needed to know would have access to the facts. Not everything needs to be known by everyone, about every subject.

The New Testament book of 1 Timothy 5:11-13 Paul is advising Timothy about care of widows, but in context he says in an aside about younger women, not to put them on the list because, "not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.[1]

Gossips are certainly not limited to young unmarried women. Young people, old people, men and women all seem to be on the gossip bandwagon. Cell phones, Facebook, Myspace and texting have lent themselves to the practice. In our society and in the church gossiping has become a sort of acceptable sin. We have so many "good" excuses for gossip that we can even make gossip sound religious. Sometimes we can even make those who have tired to not gossip seem like the evil ones. Gossip is often shrouded in prayer requests, such as, "I only bring this up so that we can pray for them intelligently." Here's another, "I need to tell you this so that you can minister to them in the correct way." Again, "I need to know this so that I can protect my family."

When Becky and I were working in the Virgin Islands, I was regularly informed by another staff person about an ongoing situation in which the other staff member was counseling a couple. We were co-pastors of the church and he said he wanted to have verification of his methods and message. However, he also told me that the information was confidential between him and me. Some weeks later his family and my family were together in my home with the kids, when he began talking about the situation. He was somewhat offended when Becky didn't know what he was talking about. He came back to me and asked why I hadn't told Becky? I said because, it was confidential. He had assumed that because he had told his wife and kids, that I would tell my wife and kids.

People have a right to privacy. We do not have a right to all knowledge. That is why on our communication cards at the prayer request spot there is an option to designate a request as public or private. We hold different ideas as to what we want known about our private lives, including prayer requests. Some of us are more private than others. I should not presume to know better than you about your situation and I would hope that you would give me the same option. The last thing I would want to happen is for another person to take it upon themselves to get on the phone and gossip about my prayer request or my particular situation if I held it as private. As a Pastor, I am limited in what I can say by your desires, not mine.

God calls it a sin, whether we rationalize it or not. It is unacceptable and it has the power to destroy a family, a village or a church.

Why is gossip so deadly? Gossip plays off the self-centered, carnal nature of man. Gossip allows us to give in to our sinful fleshly part and justify it. It seeks to promote self at the expense of others. Even more importantly it is completely opposite of God's nature, which we as believers are encouraged to grow into. God's nature is that he took care of us at his expense. Here's how scripture tells us to handle those things that we so easily gossip about self-righteously. Scripture says, "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. [2]

Why is it that we can be so quick to gossip and slander others while promoting what we thinks is our own better behavior and thinking when God says it is wrong? Learn to keep control of your tongue. It will promote good will and positive attitudes in the church and you will grow spiritually and be happier.


[1] [1] The Holy Bible : New International Version. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984, S. 1 Ti 5:11-14

[2] Proverbs 17:9